Every once in a while I come upon an article I can't believe exists in wikipedia - often it's that I'm glad it does, because it's some obscure compilation of normally useless but interesting information. Other times, it's just strange.

I had never heard of an exploding whale before. Nor that there had been enough to justify splitting the page into two categories - whales exploding naturally, and by explosives.

Moreover, there is more exploding whale literature out there - I never thought this picture would exist:



A scooter covered in whale guts. This was in Taiwan - apparently people had gathered to watch a dead whale through the streets, before, according to the Tapei Times, "More than 100 Tainan city residents, mostly men, have reportedly gone to see the corpse to 'experience' the size of its penis."

Wikipedia also supplies one of my favorite captions ever - for this picture:

"Dynamite was used to blow up a rotting beached whale, with unintended consequences."

Who would have thunk it?

And amazingly there is a youtube of another exploding whale, which apparently was an internet phenomena which I missed out at the time.

I'm already declaring it in February - the best Halloween costume of the year will be the person who comes dressed as Paul Blart, Mall Cop. And yes, that means segue included.

I'm still puzzling over this John Turturro Heiniken ad that's been running on TV the past few weeks. Take a second (or 30) and check it out if you haven't done so.





Now every time I hear it, I admit, I try to listen again. You win, Heiniken. What the fuck is he talking about? I'm 99% sure it's nonsense, but hey, it's John Turturro - he sounds so sincere when saying it, he sells it so well. I really want to believe that the beer is a compass, because, eh, it sounds cool, but what it means, I have no idea.

I'm fairly confident "undestinated" is not a word, and quick googling seems to confirm that.

Honestly, the commercial, with all its fancy talk would be of no use to me, if it wasn't John Turturro - an actor whose not quite a star per se - you would never think of him as the lead in a blockbuster, but he's been the lead in fair-sized, if not big budget movies before. He resides somewhere in the area just below star - not a B-lister, because he's in good movies, and has far too much credibility for that, but not a character actor either, because he's starred and played a large part in enough movies, and yet not quite an indie darling because his movies, while often critically acclaimed and not blockbusters, have been big movies with famous directors - quite a few with Spike Lee and the Coens, for example.

This, plus, as friend-of-the-blog Lisa noted, you actually do wonder if he might actually drink Heineken - unless most commercials, where the celebrity is clearly not buying the product - Derek Jeter is not driving a Ford Edge - it's actually possible Turturro might drink Heineken.

I spent a disturbing amount of time reading the Wikipedia article today on Jonestown, as long with a number of related pages. Before reading, all I knew is that hundreds of people committed suicide, by "drinking the Kool Aid" and that's where that expression came from. Pretty dramatic stuff, in and of itself. But reading the whole page just completely blew my mind. How there is not a major motion picture about the Jonestown incident is remarkable - it has everything you could want in a movie. Here are some summaries of the main characters, and casting choices (with the help of friend of the blog Rich Resch) - everything ready made for cinema: (Sorry if some of them are long, but I cut enough out as it is, there really just is that much material)



Jim Jones - Well liked by public figures, Jim Jones was a Bay Area community icon in the early '70s - he met with big-time politicians, such as Walter Mondale, Willie and Jerry Brown and Roslynn Carter (well big-time politicians' spouse) and was credited with playing an important role in the victory of mayor George Moscone in 1975. While revered on the outside, he was, of course, an egomaniacal, paranoid cult leader - grabbing info and forcing his members to sign documents he could use against them at anytime, and forcing all children to recognize him as their father. The Colonel Kurtz of the movie - both brilliant and out of his mind - he moves his whole cult to Guyana, creates a commune there and runs "White Night" drills - where he surrounds his commune with guards, and has everyone participate in fake group suicide drills. As he goes forward, he is himself addicted to countless drugs, and his once powerful voice becomse slurred.

Casting Choice: Philip Seymour Hoffman - he's got the acting chops to pull it off, and it's got to be Oscar material if done right - it's a rich role full of contradiction - perfect for a man with already one Oscar for playing a real life figure.





Leo Ryan - the tragic hero. Congressman Ryan had a fascinating life as an incredibly hands-on Congressman and public servant - after the Watts riots, he became a substitute teacher to see the area in a different light, and he put himself inside Folsom prison for 10 days to live the life of a prisoner. While others were hobnobbing away with Jim Jones, Ryan started the charge to look into Jonestown, first as friends with the father of a member who was found murdered after he may have been looking to defect, and then after reading a paper of a former member (Tim Stoen, who we'll get to) who was involved in a custody battle with the Temple and an article in the San Francisco Examiner. Ryan was allegedly blocked by the State Department from any information on Jonestown, and all other elected officials declined offers to go with him. He made the treacherous trip down to Jonestown, and encountered some people willing to defect, who he helped, but ultimately, was to write a generally good report. However, when he and the defectors and party members got onto their planes, Temple members opened fire on them, killing 9, including Ryan - the only Congressman ever to be killed in the line of duty.

Casting Choice: George Clooney - perfect for pulling off the role of distinguished, charismatic, do-gooding politician






Tim Stoen - A lawyer who became a very close confidant of Jones - he moved in to the Temple in San Francisco, and defended members of the temple. When he had his son, he gave him over to Jones, and signed a document saying Jones was the father. Later, when his wife defected she threatened to divorce him unless he left, which he eventually did. He became the head of a group known as the "Concerned Relatives" and got into a custody battle to get his son back, and played a large part in getting recognition of the situation in Jamestown. He went down on the fateful trip with Ryan, but there was no room on the plane for him to go from Georgetown in Guyana to Jonestown.

Casting Choice: Greg Kinnear - Remember, the above picture is taken 25 or so years after Jonestown (it was just about all I could find). Generally a second fiddle, Kinnear attracted rave reviews for his portrayal of intermittent windshield wiper inventor Bob Kearns.



(Bottom left AKA only woman in picture)

Grace Stoen - Tim's wife - she grew disatisfied with the Temple far earlier than her husband - the temple pressured her to abort her pregnancy due to overpopulation, and she was attacked, egged on by Jones, by members of the Temple as an "elitist bitch." Jones put her on the Temple's governing committee to keep her close (the whole friends close, enemies closer thing) and pressured her to quit her day job. Grace eventually left the Temple, and threatened to divorce Tim if he did not do so. Eventually, she and Tim filed the suit and went down to Guyana.

Casting Choice: Jennifer Connelly - she's not too glamorous and she'll need some serious fare after "He's Not That Into You" anyway.


Other less important characters (and ones I couldn't find pictures of easily):

Marceline Jones - Jim's wife - very troubled herself, she is the victim of Jones' relentless cheating, and eventually succumbs with him

Jim's children - three of them, Stephan, Tim, and Jim Jr. had the strange but good fortune to be in Georgetown to play a basketball game when the events were happening in Georgetown.

Larry Layden - one of the attackers of the people on the plane, and the only one ever held responsible for the attacks in a US court

Basically, the film follows the three main characters (the two Stoens can be in the same storyline) as they converge with each other and lead up to the massacre - with additional smaller perspectives perhaps from a couple of random Temple members - a few that die, and maybe one or two that escape. It's a guarenteed smash.