Thursday, November 29, 2007

As a law student, I'm used to having to figure out who should win and lose hypothetical cases. With these skills, I figured I'd attempt to take on some TV shows and movies that seem to resemble legal battles, in name at least.

Kramer vs. Kramer:

One of the authentic legal battles on the list, everyone knows this story - neglected stay-at-home mother leaves husband and son to find herself, husband rearranges his priorities to put his son first, mother comes back with a vengeance to take back her son in what becomes a heated custody battle.

Winner: Kramer - started off with an easy one - you can figure this one out without even seeing the movie

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever:

Consistently appearing on lists of the worst movies ever, including the lowest Rotten Tomatoes ranking ever of 1.5831% fresh, the film (can it really be called a "film?") stars Antonio Banderas ("Ecks") and Lucy Liu ("Sever") as government agents who first believe they are each other's enemies, but soon learn the greater threat is megalomaniac agent Robert Grant, who is now married to Ecks' ex-wife, and who is portrayed by Gregg Henry, best known for his roles as villains in Payback and Body Double.

Winner: Nobody

G vs. E:

A USA original series that aired during the 1999-2000 season, it starred Clayton Bohner, best known as the boyfriend of the main character in Just One of the Guys, Richard Brooks, who cut his legal teeth as the first ADA on Law & Order, and Marshall Bell, best remembered as Martian resistance leader Kuato from Total Recall. The three play members of "The Corps," or part of God's police force on earth - who fight two types of enemies - "Faustians" - who are ordinary mortals who have made deals with the devil, and "Morlocks," which wikipedia describes as "ground troops for the dark side."

Winner: G, barely, in each episode, over E

The People vs. Larry Flynt:

Misleading in its title which implies it is a criminal case, part of the movie is actually based on the real first amendment case of Hustler Magazine v. Falwell, in which Jerry Falwell sued Hustler for libel for this fake advertisement, which Hustler successfully won on parody grounds (I have to include some real law here somewhere.) Aside for this, it goes through the trials and tribulations of Larry Flynt's outside-the-box life.

Winner: The Harrelson family - Woody got an Academy Award nomination for his work as Flynt, Brett Harrelson got to appear in a movie of quality higher than From Dusk Til Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money.

(By the way...did you know Woody Harrelson's father was a freelance hitman?)

Kenny vs. Spenny

Kenneth "Kenny" Joel Hotz and Spencer "Spenny" Nolan Rice are two Canadians who battle each other in various competitions, such as "Who can stay awake the longest?," "Who makes the most convincing woman?," and "Who can win a court case?", the winner of which gets to assign a "humiliation" to the loser in this twice Gemini-award nominated series. The series is apparently noted for the distinct methods each of the two go about when competing - Kenny looks for ways to cheat, while Spenny is commited to the ethical guidelines of the contest. The most impressive thing about it's wikipedia entry is not simply the list of what the contest is each time and who wins, but the margin of victory, the description of how Kenny cheats, and the humiliation that follows. Someone really loves this show.

Winner: Canada, for somehow getting Americans to watch their TV shows (or at least put them on American TV) for the first time since Degrassi: The Next Generation.

1 comment:

Beverly said...

You forgot Joe vs. The Volcano, dude.